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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Ellie Nash's LiveJournal:
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|Wednesday, January 30th, 2008|
JAY AND I GOT MARRIED!!!!!! AND ASHLEY DIED!!!!!!! THE WORLD CAN REJOICE NOW!
(P.S. You guys are idiots. We were totally screwing each other behind your backs the entire time!) Current Mood: ecstatic
|Tuesday, February 15th, 2005|
Valentine's Day sucks. Thank god it's over. It's just a commercial holiday where couples show each other that they care by giving each other meaningless gifts just because they think they're supposed to. It's not like you can give a person a gift for no reason just so show them you care or something, it has to be a fucking national holiday. And then there's the disappointment of expecting something spectacular on said holiday and not getting it. Which is why Valentine's Day (also known as Single's Awareness Day) should just die. And no, I'm not just upset that I don't have a boyfriend, that's freakin lame.
Ok, I'm done with my meaningless rant for the day. I'm gonna go do some shiz now. And by that I mean sit around for the rest of the night doing nothing. My life is so awesome, you guys have no idea. Current Mood: irritated
|Sunday, February 6th, 2005|
Jay and I had to work a really long shift yesterday, which was ok with me considering I haven't really seen the other half of Ellishjay lately. Business was slow for awhile so we decided to invent our own smoothie flavor. It involved throwing basically everything we could find (that was edible of course... and possibly some things that weren't) into a blender. We were afraid to try it because it was brown and smelled kind of funny, but then our boss came and was kind of oblivious and drank it. Holy shit, the look on his face was priceless! I hope that wasn't lethal... anyway, Ash came in just before the end of our shift to "get a smoothie," which means she was really there to see Jay before she had to go to work. So I sat there and flipped through a magazine I had while listening to their lame boyfriend/girlfriend talk for ten minutes. Then a busload of Germans Against Drunk Driving came in and we actually had to work. So by the time we were done with that our shift was over and Ash had left.
And Sunday is officially the worst day of the week. It's like Alex said, you can't do anything since there's school the next day but it's still part of the weekend, which just makes it lame. And since Degrassi isn't exactly the most exciting place to begin with it's just that much worse.
Wow, sorry this entry sucks. I've got nothing to say. Um, actually I've got a lot to say, but it's not really something I want to broadcast to everyone. So yeah... I'm out I guess. Later.. Current Mood: cold
|Sunday, January 30th, 2005|
Hmm... so Alex has forced me to admit something to myself, and I can't say I feel any better after realizing it. Especially because it's something that's beyond my control and I really can't change anything. Blah. There's nothing worse than the feeling of complete helplessness.
I went sledding with Ash and Marco yesterday. It was fun I guess. Marco almost broke his arm. I don't know, I've never really been a fan of the cold and sledding and that kind of thing, but it was nice to get out of the house for and away from my mom for awhile. Canada is so not the right place for me during the winter. I think I should go into hibernation. Current Mood: blah
|Friday, January 28th, 2005|
I couldn't put up with school today so I left after first period. I've had so many freakin absences this year, it's kind of sad to think that no one's caught on to my skipping yet and gotten me in trouble.
Especially since last year I skipped class like once and got Saturday detention. But let's not go there...
Ugh, I really need to get away from Degrassi for awhile. I'm tired of putting up with drunk mothers and ex-boyfriends and all this other crap. My friends are occupied with other things so I'm thinking I might go stay with my aunt for a few days. Not exactly one of my favorite people but at least I'd be out of this hellhole. Blah, I feel like such an emo shithead. So I'm just gonna go because I'm lame... Current Mood: pessimistic
|Monday, January 24th, 2005|
I will never understand people. Never.
That being said, I went to the Dot today, hoping either Ash or Jay would be there because I really needed to talk to someone. They were both there, but Jay was with Manny and Ashley was busy being pissed off at Jay. To make a long story short, I got ditched 3 or 4 times before finally deciding to just give up. I was about to go home when none other than Craig came over, apparently hoping we could work some stuff out and be friends again. I really don't think he understands how much he freaked me out when he decided to help Rick stalk me and Jay. He apologized, but it's not easy to forgive someone after they've betrayed your trust like that. I just don't think I can trust him yet. Hell, I really haven't been able to trust anyone lately, possibly with the exception of Jay. But I don't hate him anymore, I guess that's a start. Anyway, yeah, I'm gonna go do some things. Later.
P.S. Current Mood: annoyed
|Sunday, January 16th, 2005|
Since I've been somewhat antisocial lately Paige made me go to that party with her and Sara. I dunno, there's something about her that I don't like (Sara, not Paige, duh). Anyway I hung out with them for awhile until Paige decided to go get high or something. I was just mingling (that's such a retarded word) and then of course I saw Sean there. Like an idiot I went over to see how he was doing. For awhile we'd at least been on semi speaking terms, and I guess I happened to forget the fact that he has anger management issues or something. But he'd either had a little too much to drink or was just really pissed off. Probably both. The next thing I knew we were fighting. And of course it got back to "Ellie, you kissed my best friend!" So I said something along the lines of "If you weren't such a self-absorbed jerk and actually acknowledged my existence other than as 'the girl you like to make out with' maybe I wouldn't have had to turn to him all the time!" Obviously the wrong thing to say. He looked like he was about to kill someone (namely me) but I guess he was able to restrain himself long enough to walk away. Wonderful party Paige, thanks for the invite. After that lovely ordeal I walked out. I meant to go home but that didn't seem like a great place to be either. So I ended up just walking around for awhile trying to clear my head (and not actually succeeding) and subconsiously ended up by his house. Fucking wonderful. I had to sneak in my house through the back door to avoid my mom, definitely didn't need any mother confrontation after that. You know, you can only stare at the ceiling trying to sort things out for so long before it drives you crazy. Blah, I wish I could sleep.
On the plus side Jay got me a birthday card. It's got a monkey on it, and the monkey's not even having a seizure. How super. Current Mood: drained
|Tuesday, January 11th, 2005|
| ( curing jay's boredness?Collapse )
I hung out with Ash the other day. Things are finally getting semi back to normal after all that crap that happened last year... except Sean, who apparently has a bad habit of beating people up, which is completely ridiculous. I think I might need to have a talk with him soon, you know you need some help when you hit a girl over nothing. But I don't think he's exactly stable these days. Maybe a trip to Ms. Sauve should be arranged? Meh, I dunno, sometimes I have to wonder what happened to that guy I fell in love with, because this isn't Sean. Yeah, k, I'm gonna go to sleep or something. Or... not? Blah. Current Mood: worried
|Sunday, January 2nd, 2005|
My mom ended up staying at my aunt's longer than expected. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but Christmas alone would've sucked. Which is why Jay showed up at my house that morning with a bag of Cheetos and a pile of lame Christmas movies to make fun of. Not a bad way to spend Christmas.
But Mom's back home now and it sucks a lot. New Year's is basically just an excuse to drink, and she definitely took advantage of that. You know you're pathetic when you spend the first day of the new year cleaning up after your drunk mother so that when she wakes up extremely hungover she won't yell at you for making a mess of the house. It really sucks to know I have nowhere to go if worst comes to worst. Ugh, I really miss my friends right about now.
And now I need to go... do something? Um, later.
*ellie* Current Mood: numb
|Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004|
|Monday, December 20th, 2004|
|Thursday, December 16th, 2004|
Uh, things suck a lot. Yay.
In other news my mom is going to my aunt's house for like a week. She's been worse than ever lately and I can't say I'm too terribly sad she's gonna be gone. Sorry, no parties, I'm not in the mood to have a bunch of drunk bastards destroying my house. If you really want to come over feel free I guess.
I really need to talk to Sean but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I know I'm going to feel like crap until we get some things out of the way but I suck at life. I just need to force myself to go do it. Blah. I wish I could get Jay's advice but he's had enough on his mind lately. Actually I've barely seen him except at work, which saddens me. I miss his little brother :(
This entry sucked a lot and I think I'm going to go do something now. Bye.
This amused me a lot. Current Mood: discontent
|Wednesday, December 8th, 2004|
Today in Spanish class Jay, Alex, and I were sitting in the back of the classroom not doing our work as usual and we decided to go do some Christmas shopping. And then we realized that waiting for school to end was lame so Jay went and did some more handstands and all three of us got kicked out because the teacher's retarded like that. We went to the mall and decided to hit up the arcade before doing anything else. We wasted about $20 trying to get a stuffed pig (for Jay of course) from one of those stupid fucker machines where it's almost impossible to win. We got it eventually and little Jayson was thrilled. And then he remembered that he doesn't have an extreme love of stuffed pigs and made me take it as a Hannukah present. Stupid fucker.
After that we went to the store and bought some Power Rangers action figures. We sat down in the middle of the mall and started to reinact the Power Rangers Movie. Some little kids actually came over to watch the show. Unfortunately so did one of the mall rent-a-cops, and apparently he didn't like it too much because he made us move. Then we remembered that we actually had presents we needed to buy for people so we went into one of those fun novelty gift stores and bought the most random crap ever. I managed to buy Jay and Alex their presents without them seeing (Jay was busy staring at the Pamela Anderson posters).
When we were finally done amusing ourselves looking at the pot themed merchandise we realized that we had to go drop Alex off and get back for our shift at Smoothies 5 U. On the way out we saw Paige the elf-girl and convinced her to get us to the front of the line so we could get a picture taken with Santa. The photographer said "1... 2... 3..." and right when he took the picture Alex grabbed Santa's hat and Jay and I tore the fake beard off. Hilarious picture, I need to get it framed. Needless to say the little kids weren't very happy to find out Santa was a fake, and we got kicked out of the mall.
So we dropped Alex off and the realized we were screwed because we had to go back to the mall to work. We were going to try to sneak past the mall cops, but right when we got there some old woman started screaming that someone stole her purse (it was actually underneath the bench by her feet). Since the rent-a-cops were distracted we just walked right in. About halfway through our shift the guy that threw us out came to get a smoothie. He looked really pissed off when he saw us. "You punks aren't allowed to be here! Do you know how much trouble you caused? We had to stop visits with Santa for the day!" So we just looked really confused and said "Um... what?" And he was like "Uh, sorry, wrong kids." Mwahaha we can seriously get out of anything, it's fucking amazing.
Then I went home and saw my mom trying to set up our Christmas tree... enough said.
*ellie* Current Mood: amused
|Friday, December 3rd, 2004|
| ( Revenge...Collapse )
Yeah, lame, I know, just shut up and do it. Everyone. Or else.
*ellie* Current Mood: hungry
|Thursday, December 2nd, 2004|
Ashley and I are finally on speaking terms again. Definitely still a lot of awkwardness but it's a start. I think I'm staying out of the band though, Marco's got bass pretty much covered and I'm not exactly thrilled with Craig at the moment. Besides, it was too hard to work around both Ash's and my work schedule so yeah, best of luck to you guys.
My mom and I got into a huge fight when she was finally feeling up to screaming at me about having Jay over. I think this woman needs anger management as well as rehab. I definitely don't feel like going into detail but she was seriously scaring me, I would be gone right now if I had anywhere to go. But it's not like I can go spend a week at Ashley's house again, especially considering we just stopped using the silent treatment on each other like yesterday. And what else am I supposed to do, show up at Sean's? Yeah, don't think so. Speaking of which, I worry about him. I didn't exactly break it off in the best way, but I still care about him a lot, whether he believes it or not. And now I'm just confusing myself and I'm sure all of you. Bear with me, I'm really tired and stressed out. I swear Jay is the only sanity I have left right now. Wow, I just used Jay and sanity in the same sentence. Word.
I ended up dragging Marco over to Jay's house today because I haven't seen him in forever and I thought it might be fun for all of us to hang out. Alex was there too, and we really weren't doing anything so Jay and I decided to entertain ourselves. We ended up scaring Marco and Alex away. Whoops. I heard they tried to match Jay's perfect bowling score. No luck though, they're obviously not talented enough to keep a guy on the phone talking about bowling shoes for a long period of time. Maybe it'll happen someday. Or... not?
Anyway, I still have to go Christmas shopping. My list is definitely a lot shorter this year, but whatever, that's less money I have to spend. I'll probably end up dragging Jay along for entertainment purposes. Which means Alex will have to come because she apparently wants to go on one of our ellishjay adventures. We'll try to control ourselves this time, I promise. Yeah, good times.
*ellie* Current Mood: stressed
|Saturday, November 27th, 2004|
Sooo... things have been really weird lately. The friendships I thought would last forever are basically over, the relationships I thought would make it through anything obviously didn't. But strangely enough I'm actually doing ok right now. I'm not happy about the fact that Ash and I aren't friends anymore (but despite what she apparently thinks I have better things to do than sit there and glare at her all day) and I'm definitely not proud of what happened between me and Sean, but at least everything is out in the open now.
Paige's "surprise" party was a few days ago, Jay and I decided to stop by despite the fact that it was at Ashley's house and give Paige her present. We stayed for about an hour, then decided the party was seriously lame and left. We ended up going to Latte Java and venting the last of our frustrations so we could get on with our lives. Then he brought me home and I went inside to deal with my mom. She's been getting worse lately. We've been fighting a lot, not pretty. So yeah, another argument, this one about me getting home so late even though it was only about 11:30. I was too tired to argue, I just zoned out while she yelled at me, then locked myself in my room. Fun stuff.
Today Jay and I finally got to work together again, and our first customer of the day ended up being Raditch. He came over without realizing it was us working there, and when he finally noticed he looked like he suddenly didn't want a smoothie anymore, but he was already there so it would've been rude to just walk away. "Jayson... Ellie... what are you two doing here?" "Um... working?" Then we noticed he was holding a Victoria's Secret bag. "This, er, isn't mine. I mean..." We just kind of stared at him, so he cleared his throat and ordered a smoothie. He handed me the money even though Jay was closer to the register, so Jay got pissed off and "accidentally" dropped the smoothie on Raditch's shoes when he was handing it to him. We offered to make him another one but he was suddenly in a big hurry to get somewhere. When he left we were laughing so hard Jim came out from his office and told us to shut up.
After work we went back to my house to watch a movie. We ended up watching "Billy Madison" even though we've both seen it 413 times already. I got up to get us some drinks. When I handed Jay a Pepsi he said "I wanted Dr. Pepper beotch!" So I said "That's too bad fucker!" And then suddenly we were making out again. And of course since my mom has this bad habit of appearing right at the worst possible moment she walked by on her way to the kitchen and saw us. At least it didn't turn out like what happened with Sean, she was too hungover to scream at us. Instead she just said "Um, that's not Sean." I said "No, it's not," and we started kissing again. My mom literally covered her eyes and said "Eleanor! Take it somewhere else!" Then she walked away and Jay and I started cracking up. We watched the rest of the movie and then he had to go home and watch Stevie. I managed to avoid my mom for the rest of the day, I'm sure I'll be getting absolute hell from her tomorrow though. Jay yay, I can hardly wait.
|Monday, November 22nd, 2004|
Um... Jay's party the other night... he and Craig got into some kind of fight. He and Ashley got into a huge argument. I don't know, I just wanted to be there for him. We went up to his room to talk... Ashley calls and tells him she kissed Craig. What. The. Fuck. Ugh, I didn't even know what to do for him. He reassured me that he was going to be ok, and then what does the fucker do? WWE Smackdown Sneak Attacked me! So yeah, we basically kicked each other's asses a bunch of times, then decided to play Twister (duh).
Somehow I ended up staying the night. I really don't know how that happened, we were just playing Twister and talking and beating the crap out of each other and we looked over at the clock and it was suddenly 7 am! So we made coffee and watched some TV until Lil Hogart came downstairs. We hung out with him until Jay's mom got home late afternoonish. She started bitching when she saw the house was a mess (obviously we'd never bothered to clean up) but we decided to skip the parental drama and go get some Cheetos.
It honestly just wasn't the same. We ended up in the same fucking parking space we were in that night when CreepyCraig and the psycho decided to stalk us. So we bought our Cheetos and reminisced about that night. But we couldn't really joke about it yet so we just ended up doing Craig impressions, which were really really scary :(.
Then we realized I should probably be getting home since my mom was going to freak. On the way there he asked me how things were with Sean. At that point I honestly didn't want to be in this relationship anymore. It was just... it was killing me. "I don't think I can do it anymore." I realized I was making no sense, but he knew what I meant because he's Jay. He just shook his head and said "Sean's an idiot." And for some reason that made me laugh. Only Jay can do that, it's apparently part of this fucked up bond we have.
Eventually we got to my house. Jay parked the car and shut off the engine. We just sat there for a minute. I was delaying going inside and facing mom's wrath, I know he didn't want me to have to go either. Eventually I realized that I had to deal with her sooner or later, so I reached around to the backseat to get my purse. Of course Jay went to get it at the same time, we bumped heads, and yeah, you all know the rest. I don't know, we were just kind of oblivious to everything else. Suddenly we realized what we were doing and ugh, I don't know. Wow.
I don't even remember what happened after that, the next thing I knew I was in my room with the phone in my hand dialing Sean's number. When he picked up the phone I ended it. This whole fucked up relationship where I'm just "the girl with the tongue ring he likes to make out with." I'm done pretending everything's ok, and I'm done pretending I still care about something that made me so fucking miserable. And all this time Jay was the only one who saw that...
Ugh, I was hoping that would help clear my head, but I think I'm more confused now than I was before. And this whole entry probably makes no sense. Blah.
Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
|Sunday, November 21st, 2004|
EDIT: It's now 6:07.
|Saturday, November 20th, 2004|
|You know son, I'm going home soon
Today completely sucked. I had to work without Jay again because Jim's retarded and gave us different shifts. I called Jay to give me a ride home after work and while I was waiting for him I ran into Alex. We got to talking, and then Jay showed up and things got really awkward. Alex eventually just walked away, and Jay and I left.
So I got home and attempted to do some homework but I couldn't concentrate. My grades have drastically dropped throughout the year, mostly because I just don't give a crap anymore. I have an A in Spanish but that's just because the teacher's afraid of failing me and Jay and getting us again next year (not that I'm complaining or anything).
Anyway, I gave up on the homework and went downstairs, where my mom proceeded to yell at me for god knows what. We got into a huge argument and she threatened to make me quit my job at Smoothies 5 U. I got pissed off, put my profane vocabulary skills to good use, and took off.
I ended up at (where else?) Sean's place. I walked in and he saw that I was upset, so we sat down on the couch and I told him what had happened. Then he started trying to kiss me, which I so obviously wasn't in the mood for. I pulled away, and when he finally got it through his head that I didn't want to make out he got really annoyed and suddenly had to go work on a project or something. Seems like lately he only cares about the physical aspect of our relationship, and every time I need him to be there for me he's either too busy or he's getting himself fucking drunk.
So I left even angrier than I'd been when I got there. I just drove around for awhile not really going anywhere, then went home to find my mom passed out on the couch with a bottle of vodka. Huge surprise there. Ugh, this is killing me.
P.S. How do they preserve your kidneys for transfusion if you die suddenly?
P.P.S. I'm pregnant with Jay's baby. Current Mood: cynical
|Sunday, November 14th, 2004|
Smoothies 5 U isn't very fun without Jay there :(. Friday I had to work with some random other employee, and she takes this job waaaay too seriously. It was actually kind of funny to watch her spaz about every little thing that goes into making a smoothie until she started bitching about how I wasn't being precise in my fruit ratios. At least the 12 year old didn't show up.
Yesterday I went to Jay's house to see his hot little brother. I told you I was going to kidnap him ;). So he answered the door when I rang the bell. He got so excited when he found out it was me, it was really cute! I asked him where his mom was and he said she was at work... she'd left a three-year-old by himself. Nice. Apparently she forgot that Jay wasn't there or something. So I told him I'd take him to the park but we were only there for about 5 minutes before we froze our asses off, so instead we went to the movie rental place to pick up some videos. We ended up going over to Sean's because I would've felt really weird being at Jay's house without him there. If only you could've seen Sean's face when I randomly walked into his house with Lil Hogart, it was priceless! He got kind of mad when he realized we couldn't make out with Stevie there (aww poor baby haha) but he warmed up to the kid when he saw his fascination with the motorcycle. Then we settled down to watch none other than Shrek 2. Stevie was like a kid at Christmas throughout the entire movie! I ended up getting him home like right when his mom got there, she was just like "Uhh, yeah, whatever." Fun stuff.
I was forced to work the last shift at Smoothies 5 U today, and it was uber boring since people don't want smoothies at like 9 o' clock. So I was about to fall asleep from the boredom when some stupid fucker comes up and asks for a strawberry banana smoothie. And by stupid fucker I mean Jay Hogart! Who's finally returned from New York! So he worked the last 7 minutes of my shift with me, which was just enough time for us to make ourselves some smoothies. Oh how I missed the smoothie making fun. Jay yay!
Ashley, we need to go bowling! Now beotch! Or... not now, but sometime in the very near future preferably?
*ellie* Current Mood: content